Wednesday, July 21, 2004
I’m Completely Overwhelmed
God, where do I start?
In the next five days, I have to do the following things (you tell me if this all seems a bit over the top):
Tonight is the first read thru of our Theatre Company’s original work. After 2 and ½ months of writing and rewriting, we are finally ready to go forward with a read thru. The three of us who have collaborated on this project are all very nervous. To be an artist, you must be comfortable with risk taking. Tonight’s read thru is a prime example of that. What if no one likes our show? What if they think it’s badly written? What if the feedback is mostly negative? I am very proud of the work we have done, but until an outsider reads it, we won’t know if it’s any good. Wish us luck please. This is a big night for the Company.
As I write this, two friends of mine are crashing in my apartment. I adore these friends and am so happy that I’m able to give them a room in Manhattan for a couple of days. However, with everything else I have going on, not being able to be in my bedroom, much less sleeping there, is stressing me out. These friends are not imposing on me at all. The timing is just unideal.
On Saturday morning, I must get up at the crack of dawn and take a train to Long Island. I have yet ANOTHER wedding to go to this weekend. Luckily I’m not in the wedding this time around, so I won’t have to take three of hours of “wedding party” pictures. Since the ceremony is at 11am, I can guarantee you that I will be COMPLETELY plastered by 1pm. It’s the only way I will survive, I think. That night, I will crash in a hotel, only to get up bright and early the next day to come back to the city.
On Sunday, my wonderful gay uncles from California arrive in the city. I have plans to go shopping with them or out to a bar, maybe just walking around SoHo. In any case, that night, Paul and I will take them to dinner and out for yet more drinks. It will be a very fun time for all of us, if I can keep my eyes open during the experience.
Monday, I work until 1pm and then head over to JFK airport to pick up my brother! He flies in around 3pm and will be greeted by both my parents and myself. We will surely make signs announcing his arrival and be screaming at the top of our lungs as he steps off the plane. Since we haven’t seen him in 16 months, the visit is SURE to be intensive with laughter and tears pouring out of our bodies at every possible moment. For two weeks I will be making the rounds with my brother; seeing friends and family that have missed him so much while he has been gone.
Although I will be out of work for a good week and ½, it won’t be as much of a “vacation” as I need. It’s not like I’ll be sleeping in late and lounging around. There are numerous parties and dinners that I need to go to, etc. I’m sure it will be more fun and laid back than I’m predicting, but at this point, I’m almost ready to throw my hands up in the air and say I can’t do any of it.
My nerves are shot. I feel emotionally unbalanced. I’m completely and utterly overwhelmed. How does one person juggle all of these events without having a nervous breakdown? If I don’t find a way to have some time to myself over the next two weeks, I’m sure to collapse into a very deep depression.
I don’t work the way most people do. I love to be busy, but I hate to lose control. With almost every event happening in the next few weeks, I have little to no control over any of it. That makes me nervous and uptight. I want to enjoy myself and I want to smile through the experience. However, in order to do that, I have to find a couple of hours here and there to either sleep, read a book, or stare at the wall.
I guess that’s it.
Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I’m going to need the support.
God, where do I start?
In the next five days, I have to do the following things (you tell me if this all seems a bit over the top):
Tonight is the first read thru of our Theatre Company’s original work. After 2 and ½ months of writing and rewriting, we are finally ready to go forward with a read thru. The three of us who have collaborated on this project are all very nervous. To be an artist, you must be comfortable with risk taking. Tonight’s read thru is a prime example of that. What if no one likes our show? What if they think it’s badly written? What if the feedback is mostly negative? I am very proud of the work we have done, but until an outsider reads it, we won’t know if it’s any good. Wish us luck please. This is a big night for the Company.
As I write this, two friends of mine are crashing in my apartment. I adore these friends and am so happy that I’m able to give them a room in Manhattan for a couple of days. However, with everything else I have going on, not being able to be in my bedroom, much less sleeping there, is stressing me out. These friends are not imposing on me at all. The timing is just unideal.
On Saturday morning, I must get up at the crack of dawn and take a train to Long Island. I have yet ANOTHER wedding to go to this weekend. Luckily I’m not in the wedding this time around, so I won’t have to take three of hours of “wedding party” pictures. Since the ceremony is at 11am, I can guarantee you that I will be COMPLETELY plastered by 1pm. It’s the only way I will survive, I think. That night, I will crash in a hotel, only to get up bright and early the next day to come back to the city.
On Sunday, my wonderful gay uncles from California arrive in the city. I have plans to go shopping with them or out to a bar, maybe just walking around SoHo. In any case, that night, Paul and I will take them to dinner and out for yet more drinks. It will be a very fun time for all of us, if I can keep my eyes open during the experience.
Monday, I work until 1pm and then head over to JFK airport to pick up my brother! He flies in around 3pm and will be greeted by both my parents and myself. We will surely make signs announcing his arrival and be screaming at the top of our lungs as he steps off the plane. Since we haven’t seen him in 16 months, the visit is SURE to be intensive with laughter and tears pouring out of our bodies at every possible moment. For two weeks I will be making the rounds with my brother; seeing friends and family that have missed him so much while he has been gone.
Although I will be out of work for a good week and ½, it won’t be as much of a “vacation” as I need. It’s not like I’ll be sleeping in late and lounging around. There are numerous parties and dinners that I need to go to, etc. I’m sure it will be more fun and laid back than I’m predicting, but at this point, I’m almost ready to throw my hands up in the air and say I can’t do any of it.
My nerves are shot. I feel emotionally unbalanced. I’m completely and utterly overwhelmed. How does one person juggle all of these events without having a nervous breakdown? If I don’t find a way to have some time to myself over the next two weeks, I’m sure to collapse into a very deep depression.
I don’t work the way most people do. I love to be busy, but I hate to lose control. With almost every event happening in the next few weeks, I have little to no control over any of it. That makes me nervous and uptight. I want to enjoy myself and I want to smile through the experience. However, in order to do that, I have to find a couple of hours here and there to either sleep, read a book, or stare at the wall.
I guess that’s it.
Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I’m going to need the support.
